The Use of Power

Reflection and Music by: Nate Allen

Many conversations of systemic and personal decolonization are discussions of power and its place. As individuals and cultures, we must ask what parts of our defensives have outlived their use. If we are to dismantle systems of harm, what is the best way to go about this? What can we do practically to make the world a better place? I get overwhelmed when I spend too much time looking at the big picture.

When I sing on Eye to Eye, "what does it mean to use my power?" I answer with "fight injustice that we see." From my perspective, every individual has power. My 3-year old can kick me pretty hard when she is angry and carry her little sister around. As her father, one of my roles is to help her recognize her inherent strength. Yes, she is a small person, but she is also much stronger than she realizes. I am learning to focus on what I can impact that is not beyond my means.

Many years ago, I was promoting a concert when the police stormed in. I went to church with the most hostile officer at the raid. The next day, I used my power. I called the local sheriff and set up a meeting. We came to an understanding that I would be responsible for anything that would happen within my visual range and that they would leave us alone. I do my best to carry that responsibility forward. I cannot stop all injustice, but I can stand up to the evil that crosses my path.

I am currently in school to become a therapist. One of the significant challenges we face as a profession is how do we not fall into the role of rescuer, while at the same time aid clients in their quest towards health? Rescuing sounds a lot like colonizing. Assuming our way, worldview, and current perspective are the best can be dangerous and disempowering. The more I examine my inherent bias and past wounding, the more I see things with fresh eyes. In the song Heaven, I am facing off with my past wounding to reclaim my autonomy and faith. The path to escape our broken patterns is painfully hard work.

In the chorus of Eye to Eye, a song I sing to put my new baby to sleep at night, I sing of treating all people with dignity. I strive to keep this aspiration in mind. When I get scared, I can complicate things by judging myself and piling on shame. I lose focus on my ability to empathize with others' struggles when I get stuck in my head. As a Christian and a white man, my role changes in almost every room I enter. Do I need to empower or create space for someone or use strength to protect or challenge?  We produce more problems when we fall into the illusion that we do not have power. I find hope that we are not alone in our struggle and that we all have things to learn from each other.


Songs

1. "Eye to Eye" 
This is a song I sing to my new baby each night to put her to sleep. It's her absolute favorite. 

2. “Heaven”
“so I called God on the telephone said I had enough
after many years of cowering, starting to stand up
to these lies I have much stalk in, the foundations of my faith
these holiness traditions, these lies, I have to break!
for they’ve separated kindness from your unconditioned love
they made your mercy judgment, they’ve kept you up above
for my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways
heaven calls us higher but earth begs us to stay
heaven calls us higher but earth begs us to stay”

From Good Saint Nathanael's Album Hide No Truth.

---

Nate Allen

is a husband, father of 2, friend, writer, mystic, and songsmith (Destroy Nate Allen / Good Saint Nathanael) based in Kansas City, Missouri. His first book, Launching, Landing and Moving Forward is available now at goodsaintnathanael.com, where he can also be reached by message.is a husband, father of 2, friend, writer, mystic, and songsmith (Destroy Nate Allen / Good Saint Nathanael) based in Kansas City, Missouri. His first book, Launching, Landing and Moving Forward is available now at goodsaintnathanael.com, where he can also be reached by message.